Friday Food Cast: 5 Solutions for How Masculinity Screws with Men’s Health

Hola amigos! Welcome back!

In honor of Movember, tune in to learn how masculinity screws with men’s health and what we can do about it! Masculinity damages men because masculinity is arbitrarily defined and trauma is marginalized. Through teaching emotional intelligence tools to men, masculinity could help men thrive instead of killing them.

Highlights of this episode:

• Behaviors of Masculinity
• Masculinity and Economic Stagnation
• Arbitrary Definitions of Masculinity
• How Masculinity Lowers Men’s Health
• Hidden Trauma with Men
• Improving Men’s Health

Episode Description: 

[2:23] How Masculinity Screws with Men’s Health

David shares how his masculinity screwed with his wellbeing. During the COVID-19 pandemic, when most were in isolated quarantine, David and wife got into an argument, which David takes the blame. After reflecting on this moment with himself and his wife, he took a small, but very positive step, one small bite that made a large positive impact.

[7:41] How Masculinity Screws with Men’s Health: Economic Stagnation

Many jobs are becoming obsolete. There’s a disproportionate rise of power in China and India and a global income disparity. An essay published in The Economist, Men Adrift, pointed out that a job that used to take 100 men, now only requires 10 men. A strong set of hands is not as necessary as it once was. Then, when Trump was elected and made a promise to Make America Great Again, that was (in part,) an unfeasible demand to a masculine workforce of the past. This masculinity screwed with men’s health through economic stagnation.

Technology and industry advances reduce certain labor pools, while nurturing professions are on the rise. Nurturing roles, like a dietitian, is 92% female dominated. A rise in this type of economy challenges traditional masculinity. Men’s horseplay, shouting, and cursing is not welcomed in non-masculine environments that desire politeness, courtesy, and patience.

Men’s unwillingness to play a dominate role in childcare, housework, or family life is linked to its docile, feminine association. This is an example how masculinity screws with men’s health. David points out that domestic life involves physical activity like walking, going up and down the stairs, cooking (which can be laborious), mowing, raking the leaves, etc. This activity is positive for health.

The change of economic demand produces anger in some men, even subconsciously. Something helpful for men is to engage with other men socially. David says cycling and hiking with his buddies has been a game changer.

Our culture’s version of masculinity fosters alexithymia, or the inability to describe your emotions. Men are taught, “don’t cry…suck it up…if it’s not broken or bleeding, you are okay.” Many men are unable to decipher what their emotions mean. Emotional intelligence is a big part of development, but masculinity does not allow it.

[15:59] Masculinity Labels Weakness Arbitrarily

Masculine culture defines therapy and vulnerability as a weakness – arbitrarily. However, David says therapy has helped him understand his mental game. Also, mental health affects physical health.

[17:28] Masculinity Harms Men Physically

Here are the facts from the National Center for Health Statistics of 2017: Men live five years shorter than women. Men are 2.1 times likely to die of liver disease and 2.7 times likely to die of HIV/AIDS.

The issue could be helped by creating more access to healthcare, and by fostering an attitude of willingness in men to use healthcare resources. Masculinity teaches males that “you don’t need to see a doctor or do regular check-ups.” This leads to less preventative medicine and diseases caught too late. For example, in the recent prostate health episode, an early prostate screen could mean a longer life span. Men’s fears about losing their erections is not as relevant today in modern medicine. However, the prevalent attitude is that “the healthcare system is out to make a buck, big pharma just wants to profit.” These attitudes and mindsets steer people away from healthcare, while conditions go untreated. Then, there’s weight stigma like Jeff experienced. He was tired of going to the doctor because of the unhelpful weight loss advice from his doctor. Men are frustrated and the expectation to be tough, interferes with men’s healthcare.

Part of masculinity is the obligation to be self-reliant and to never reveal vulnerability. Yet, that is so narrow and harmful for health.

[21:39] Men’s Trauma is Hidden

When we heard about trauma in men, that trauma is mostly about military service. Yet, men can still experience interpersonal trauma like bullying, domestic abuse, and sexual assault.  Men are also victims of these behaviors.

David shares that he has attachment disorder, a result from when his mother moved the family away from his grandmother, who was David’s biggest caretaker. David clarifies he loves his mother and his childhood emotional neglect is not about his parent’s shortcomings. They did not know how to raise a man with emotional intelligence. As the youngest, David could do anything and get away with a lot. Later in life, when he didn’t belong to a group, David expressed anger, and then people would push him away more.

Masculinity marginalizes people like many of the “-isms” that marginalize identities: sexism, racism, heterosexism, antisemitism, islamophobia, ableism, etc. Stigma marginalizes people, and men can marginalize themselves.

[26:20] 5 Solutions to Help Men’s Health

1. Advocate for New Idea of Masculinity

We need to advocate to redefine masculinity, change the role of masculinity, and raise children that are more emotionally intelligent. More gender-neutral approaches may help with this. Listen to Episode 83, a guest who is an openly gay healthcare advocate. Change the mentality that vulnerability is weak. We need more education about what being masculine means.

2. Increase Healthcare Access and Encourage Men to Use Healthcare

The social determinants of health create health disparities, leading to more sickness. Our system needs to create more access nationally. Also, the “toughness” mentality is killing men. Encourage and normalize regular check-ups and annual routine visits to save lives.

3. Uplift and Value Nurturing Services

Men can be part of the service economy with the right tools and given the opportunity! Educating our society about the value in nurturing services will help.

4. Build Communities

Build communities that are fair, open, and compassionate. If men can get together in joyful movement like David’s cycling and hiking group, this gets men outside, talking about their day, which has a positive benefit on health.

5. Stop Demonizing Therapy

Therapy is not a weakness.  Learning more about yourself is a strength and therapists are trained to give a professional perspective and guidance.

Books Recommended:

• Tough Standard by Ronald F. Levant and Shana Pryor
• Self-Compassion by Dr. Kristin Neff
• Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Coleman
• The Man that Wanted Me to Be by Jared Yates Sexton
• Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch

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Once again, I greatly appreciate you for listening and supporting my show. Remember, it really only takes One Small Bite to start transforming your life.

Chop the diet mentality; Fuel Your Body; and Nourish Your Soul!