The One Small Bite Method That Makes Habits Stick – Eating Rhythm Series – Episode 167

Hola amigos! Welcome to One Small Bite!

Continuing with the Eating Rhythm series for this month. Today’s session is about some tough life lessons. These lessons led to one small thing that made huge strides in creating a nourished life.

By the way, if you don’t know what an eating rhythm is, or what it means, take a moment to listen to my last two episodes 165 and 166. They’ll help you understand what I’m talking about, but it’s not a requirement to listen to today’s episode.

In this episode you’ll get…

• How to pay attention to habits that interfere with your eating rhythm
• First hand examples of mindless habits that get in the way
• How sheer willpower, determination, or grit aren’t enough to make changes
• What is the misery zone of habits that interrupt a positive relationship with food
• Creating friction and the recipe to making new helpful habits stick

Episode Show Notes:

OK, so bear with me as I walk you through the story of my transformation, and how it’s helped me see the power of small approaches to living a nourished life. More importantly, how this tiny but mighty process will work to help you live a nourished life.

In my last episode I left you with a little cliffhanger. I was talking about how to change old habits. So, I asked you to first write them down.

Well, what did you notice?

Did writing down our daily habits help you pay closer attention to how often you engage in them without even realizing it? Did you notice how those habits help you get through your day seamlessly and efficiently?

The funny thing is that when we write them down those habits come into our consciousness. However, you might have been amazed by how mindless or unconscious they actually are.

Was that the case with you? If you didn’t write them down, or if your old habits were hard to notice, it’s ok.

Here’s how it works.

Writing down our daily habits helps us slow down and pay particular attention to how those seamless and efficient habits can also get in the way of living a long and healthy life. Like changing your eating habits, exercising, or getting better sleep.

In fact, many of these habits are so entrenched in daily routines that many people tell me how they’ve tried multiple diets or fitness routines over the years, yet their health keeps getting worse. I hear words like “discipline”, “focus”, “buckle down”, or “willpower”, yet people can’t seem to sustain new habits that will help improve their lives for very long.

Why is that? Why do we hear those amazing stories of transformation from other people, but we can’t seem to willpower our way to do the same?

Part of the problem is that we are changing the wrong things. We are so focused on those superhero type transformations, that we think they work on everyone, including us. It’s overlooking the good to seek the great! It’s entrenched in the US cultural DNA. Sayings like

• “Go big, or go home”
• “Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”
• “Pull yourself up by the bootstraps”
• “No pain, no gain”

We learn to love that story. I’m a huge Star Wars fan, and like many of us, a sucker for the hero’s journey. It’s so romanticized.

But, allow me to uncover the truth about my transformational journey to help shed a light on how to make those changes stick.

For the last 15 years I’ve been trying to create an online business. I’ve dreamed about creating a podcast, online courses, email newsletter and digital products, affiliate marketing collaborations, writing books, cooking demos, nutrition research reviews, creating a YouTube channel, and becoming an Instagram influencer.

Wait, that’s not all.

At the same time, I’ve tried building up my counseling practice by hiring dietitians, offering group nutrition classes, and physician education programs, all with the hopes of creating a successful and thriving nutrition practice.

I’ve also spent years trying to build up a corporate wellness arm of my business, doing consulting work, and getting more speaking engagements. I’ve also worked with the Latino population, and been part of diabetes and weight-loss programs. In fact, I once developed a weight-loss program with a physician that included one-on-one counseling, weekly workout sessions, weekly group nutrition classes, and medical supervision. I was busier than busy!

Phew! It’s exhausting just hearing me say it all!

Not sure if you can tell what the problem is here, or how this ties into maintaining a rhythm of eating.

Hold on, I’m getting there.

I was talking with my business coach just the other day, and he made me realize how I’m in the habit of ruminating about the past, and thinking about the future. I have the habit of starting and stopping all these endeavors, but rarely seeing them through.

Why? What was I trying to accomplish?

The unconscious habit for me was to become the next super nutrition expert, yet all the while the fear of failure loomed constantly in my head. I put extreme and unrealistic expectations on myself. But when it didn’t come easy, I would give up. I’d come up with these elaborate plans only to see them fall apart because they were just too overwhelming.

I was in the habit of setting myself up to fail, and I failed on putting my attention on what I’m good at. One small bite that helps people build a nourished life. That is my expertise.

The problem was, I had the “shiny box syndrome”. Do you know what that is?

What I just described above. I was hopping from one great idea to another, and each required concentration, effort, planning, and time to develop. I was in the unconscious habit of doing this because I lived in a society that values greatness, not mediocrity.

Therefore, my unconscious habit was to move on to the next best thing. If that didn’t work, then move on to the next one. Day-by-day, I would spend hours working on projects, and when they didn’t come easy, I’d give up.

These subtle habits have a profound effect in various parts of our lives, but they are so subtle and out of our consciousness, that when we fail to pay attention to them, they keep us from changing. We therefore create the narrative that we are failures, we’re not enough, we don’t belong because I’m not as good, smart, talented, or hard working as Elon Musk.

The subtle internal conversations occur out of sight of our consciousness. They are so subtle, insidious, and insipid that these habits and behaviors become us. They keep us trapped in what I call the ironic comfort zone.

This is not a comfortable zone though, contrary to its name. Comfort, in this case, really means familiar, which means we don’t step into the unknown. The paradox is that we know we need to change. We know our comfort zone is actually our misery zone. It’s keeping us perpetually stuck in a negative relationship with food or our health.

For example, when we force ourselves to try a new diet or way of eating, we overwhelm ourselves. I’m not against eating healthier foods or reducing the amount of saturated fat, processed foods, or excess sugar in our diets. However, when we skip meals, avoid certain foods, restrict foods, or should-on-ourselves (ha, ha), we inadvertently drastically disrupt those unconscious habits that keep us in our familiar zone. Our misery zone!

And, quite frankly, that shocks us. It disrupts us to the point we can’t sustain it.

Therefore, I propose that by building a rhythm of eating we are creating moments to stop and have time for ourselves, to prioritize me, give myself the opportunity to love myself. We bring consciousness to these old behaviors and belief systems, and allow curiosity to help open our minds to something different.

However, changing these old behaviors doesn’t take brute force of willpower. If it were that easy, I would have developed a multimillion dollar business by now.

No, willpower, discipline, and dedication alone don’t cut it.

I’m not suggesting we give up on our dreams of living a nourished long life, owning a multi-million dollar company, or finding the cure to Alzheimer’s. No, that’s not what I’m implying either.

Heck, I’m still doing this podcast, aren’t I?

What I’m suggesting is that in order to build an adequate eating rhythm that will help us build a positive relationship with food, our bodies, and our health, we need to subtly interrupt those old habits so that we take small bites over time to build the foundation of a nourished life.

This means we start by adding friction to old habits and behaviors in a subtle way to start making the changes that will help us.

For example, if I put my phone on sleep mode, it has a feature where it starts the process of shutting down the phone at night, and sets up the “Do Not Disturb” function. Therefore, I don’t see texts, don’t get calls, and I can’t easily get to my apps or websites.

This is just one simple example of what I mean by friction. Creating this friction is a subtle reminder to go to bed early, so I get a good night’s sleep. Therefore, I’m up earlier and have time in the morning to workout and prepare a nice breakfast. This in turn starts my eating rhythm.

OK I know, that might sound like a stretch, but it really isn’t. Here’s what I mean.

Over three decades of habit research by Dr. Wendy Woods, professor of psychology at the University of Southern California, has shown that the best way to change our habits is not through willpower and grit alone, but by making subtle interruptions to our old habits, and making new ones easy and obvious.

The recipe is simple:

• Create a stable context or environment
• Increase the friction of old habits, and decrease the friction of new habits
• Make these new habits rewarding – extrinsic and intrinsic rewards
• Make it repeatable until it’s automatic

For more information about this recipe, please check out Dr. Wood’s book Good Habits, Bad Habits: The Science of Making Positive Changes That Stick.

So how does this habit change recipe work to build a rhythm of eating? How does it help us create a positive relationship to food so we can live a nourished life?
Here’s what I do to help clients.

First, I suggest we create a stable context or environment. This means start by writing down your daily habits, and take a couple of days to do this so you can see patterns. Then ask yourself, “How are they affecting the way I eat?”

Next, Add Friction – Find one small interruption, or cue, in the flow of your daily routines that will subtly and kindly remind you to do something else. Or, add the convenience of a healthier food option where we would otherwise have a hyper-palatable snack.

Then, make it rewarding – The intrinsic reward might be feeling more energy in the day, improving blood sugar levels, or seeing your bad cholesterol levels come down. The extrinsic reward could be tying the activity to something you want like a new shirt, gadget, or tool.

In fact, research by Dr. Katy Milkman, behavioral scientist and professor at The Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania, shows that we should temptation bundle our activities to build in new habits. This means tie activities with each other, like enjoying a piece of chocolate when you eat a salad.

And lastly, make it repeatable until it’s automatic – Once the new habit is automatic, or close to that, you probably won’t notice it at all. That’s the sign! It starts becoming unconscious and replaces old habits. But the key to this is that the new habit has to be small and realistic, and done repetitively during the week so you replace the old habit.

Here’s an example from one of my sessions with a client.

This client had the habit every morning of making coffee and scrolling through their phone before doing anything. They called it their “me-time.” While this habit alone isn’t wrong or bad, it was keeping them from working out or preparing breakfast or lunch.

After walking them through the habit change recipe – creating a stable context and environment – they came up with the idea of putting their workout clothes in front of the coffee maker. This is how they added friction to the old habit. In this way, they had to first move the clothes out of the way in order to have the coffee. This wasn’t brute force or willpower, just a subtle interruption in the flow of habits, enough to remind them to workout.

What was more amazing was how they had more time in the morning to enjoy breakfast, partly because after their workout they felt hungry. They didn’t miss scrolling through their phone, and they still had their me-time. In fact, they had more energy throughout the day, and best of all, their cholesterol level improved. These are examples of the extrinsic and intrinsic rewards.

Eureka! It was a game changer for them. Yes, They started working out, and it became a habit.

Repeatability and automatic –

Mic drop!

Back to what I learned and how I’ve changed.

Well, actually this learning really an on-going thing.

I’m paying much more attention to my old habits, and learning what helps and what doesn’t. I let myself be curious, and I explore and experiment. But now, I create subtle interruptions, friction, in old habits and make new ones very simple.

I no longer get lost looking for the next great nutrition thang. I double down on One Small Bite approaches to help people build healthier and more sustainable habits. I’m doing this podcast, but I’m no longer wasting my time trying to find the viral headline, making it amazing, or trying to create a new group program around it.

I’m just focused on how it helps people build back a rhythm of eating back into their lives so they have the energy, nourishment, and building blocks for a long and nourished life.

Now it’s your turn. Follow this Habit Change Recipe and begin to add friction to old habits that are getting in your way of building a rhythm of eating, and a positive relationship with food and your body.

I know you can do this!

Resources:

• If you like this episode, then download the show wherever you listen to your podcasts at Apple, Spotify, Stitcher, Google, iHeartRadio, Castbox, etc!
• Hit that subscribe button so you won’t miss another episode.
•  Big Ask: Leave a Review! Please, take a few minutes and leave me a review on your podcast app. Each review helps other listeners find the podcast, which provides me with the ability to continue bring you unique content. So spread the love. Loss for words? Just write what you like about the show.
• Share the show with friends.
• If you want to work with us, schedule an appointment or a free 15 minute discovery call. Explore our website and click Schedule an Appointment. Or, reach us by email info@orozconutrition.com or phone 678-568-4717.

 

Chop the diet mentality; Fuel Your Body; and Nourish Your Soul!