Loneliness: The Other Pandemic, and Its Effects on Our Health

Hola amigos! Welcome back!

Loneliness is another pandemic and it’s effecting our health. Did you know loneliness is a form of stress? How does loneliness occur? What can we do about it? Don’t miss this great episode that invites us all to find more connection.

Highlights of this episode:

• Loneliness is stress
• Society Risks of Loneliness
• Masculine and feminine loneliness
• Social and emotional connections
• Loneliness and food anxiety
• Coming out of loneliness

Episode Description: 

 [03:47] What is Loneliness?

Loneliness is a state of mind of disconnection and isolation. Even if we are physically around people, we feel lonely. If you feel like you don’t fit in, you can feel alone in a crowd. Interestingly, the English language does not have a clear word for the opposite of loneliness.

Why do we sense or feel this way? How did this evolve? The sense of belonging was created out of survival. If you were on the outside, you may not find food on your own or defend yourself from threats. The benefit of group behavior is that we problem solved together. Loneliness, then, is a threat to your survival.

The experts on loneliness are Dr. John and Stephanie Cacioppo, who work at the University of Chicago Center for Cognitive and Social Neuroscience. They connected the pathways which this mental state of loneliness affects the physical state of being. What they found is that our human evolutionary advantage comes from our group behavior. Loneliness separates us from the group and can kill us.

[12:29] Loneliness is a Stress Response

Stress response is like a cascade of events in the body. Stress is processed in the brain’s amygdala, the emotions processing center, sending a distress signal to the brain’s hypothalamus. ­­The hypothalamus coordinates the nervous system and activity of the pituitary gland simultaneously.

The nervous system’s sympathetic response, or the flight or fight response, releases adrenalin and noradrenalin hormones. These hormones increase the heart rate, raise blood pressure, and slow digestive processes. This series of events in the body can be acute or chronic. Chronic reoccurrence can negatively affect our cardiovascular and gastrointestinal health.

The pituitary gland releases hormones like cortisol. Chronic release of cortisol creates a dysfunctional HPA (hypothalamic pituitary adrenal) axis, weakening the immune system.  This event also can signal the liver to release glucose into the bloodstream and raise blood pressure.

Now, if you were running from a lion, the stress response is a great survival evolutionary tool. In modern society, less of us are running from lions. In loneliness, we isolate ourselves and stress develops chronically.

The rise of blood pressure can create microtears in our blood vessels invite macrophages to heal it, but there is a hardening afterward. This hardening creates atherosclerosis and thrombosis, which are very common medical conditions.

The liver releasing glucose into the bloodstream affects our blood sugar levels. People with diabetes who want to control their blood sugar, often think that they love sweets too much or love carbs too much. However, the stress response and genetic factors may be more of a driver of the higher blood sugars.

[17:32] Risks of Loneliness

The risk of loneliness can come from shaming, like body shaming. Shame leads to embarrassment, and a person will retreat from society or groups. Some common situations that place persons at risk for loneliness are:

• history of incarceration
• politics
• corporate culture’s homogenizing
• migration
• individualism
• thin body ideal
• social media

Not an exhaustive list by any means.

[32:42] Masculine and Feminine Traits that Create Loneliness

(Note: Our culture commonly places on binary placement of traits and characteristics into masculine and feminine, and while this is something to dismantle, I am pausing that to discuss Dr. Niobe Way’s work)

Dr. Way studied French boys’ connection as they grew up. Emotional honesty and intimacy were not acceptable behavior, so meaningful connection was difficult.  When connection is not fulfilled, people sometimes turn to drugs, alcohol, or food.

Men’s Loneliness

The World Health Organization reported that men accounted for most of the estimated 793,000 suicidal deaths worldwide. The BBC news says that men are three times more likely to die by suicide, or four times more likely in Russia and Argentina. We have a pandemic of COVID and of loneliness.

[38:00] Women’s Loneliness

Women are often the caregivers in their world, nurturing, giving, and providing service. This time allocation does not leave room for themselves. Any time for themselves is a disserve to those they care for.

[39:19] Embrace Radical Self Love and Self-Acceptance

Brené Brown talks a lot about shame and vulnerability. The intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of acceptance or belonging. This is a form of shame that is deeply entangled in a web of layered, conflicting, and competing social community expectations. So, this shame leaves women feeling like they’re trapped or they’re powerless. It is a major problem.

[40:55] Loneliness Changes the Way We Eat

Loneliness is creating challenges to the way people eat, Sometimes the narrative goes like this: “well, I’m a fat person, so I can’t be thin, what the hell, I’m going to go ahead and eat this. I am no good at this diet or I’ll just eat this now.” After that, the feeling of guilt follows. Guilt perpetuates the behavior. This can lead to sneaking food, eating in isolation, when eating in front of other people, eating very healthy to display “good” behavior.

[43:46] What We Can Do

1. Deep our social connections (Not easy, in a world driven by isms and physical looks)
2. Sit with the uncomfortable (What is isolating you? What are you feeling? Talk about it with someone)
3. Engage in activities (with a group, to create connections)
4. Help your relationship with food (if needed, find others who are on this journey)

Resources Mentioned this Episode:

• University of Chicago Center for Cognitive and Social Neuroscience
• Hidden Brain’s podcast episode: A Social Prescription: Why Human Connection Is Crucial To Our Health
• Hidden Brain’s podcast episode: <Guys, We Have A Problem: How American Masculinity Creates Lonely Men
• You Are a Badass book
• Brené Brown’s books

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